Navigating the Authenticity Crisis: How to Thrive in a Fake Social Media World

You hate social media because you think it’s fake.

You think it’s fake because you see many people showing versions of themselves that seem “off.”

You don’t post because you’re scared you must do the same to succeed. 

Meanwhile, the people who grow the most understand that the OPPOSITE is true. 

I was just like you

Early on in my career, I was super naive. I saw people with more significant followings and assumed they were the real deal. I wondered why I only had 100-200 followers. I wondered why I only got four likes on a post, and what I had to do to become an authority in real estate. 

I put out SO much content, hosted events and supported other people like CRAZY, but I didn’t see any traction online. I watched other accounts (TOO much) grow by tens of thousands of followers and felt like I was failing. 

Then I noticed something.

My phone was ringing. People called me saying they wanted my content and wanted to work together. 

I got listings. We grew. 

I also noticed those same people with 5-10 times my following were NOT selling. Online, they looked great, but it didn’t translate to REAL relationships. 

Then I figured out the problem

When I reached a certain threshold, I started getting pitched to BUY followers — the new trend in getting engagement/comments/views.

The more things change, the more they stay the same. 

It felt GROSS, and I had to make a decision. If I was going to go that route, there was no going back.

Some people will do it because, “It’s sales, baby!” If that’s your jam, go for it. For me, when people hear my name, what’s more important to me is this proverb:

“A good name is to be chosen rather than great riches, loving favor rather than silver and gold.” 

This business is fraught with pitfalls. Competition is great. Comparison is not.

In the best of times, competition drives innovation. It can show us what’s possible and help us refine our best selves. 

In the worst of times, comparison leaves us miserable, despite the fact that we still have so much. 

So how can you solve this? Here’s what helped me achieve authenticity with integrity.

Shut out the noise

What you focus on expands. I did a time audit and started catching myself when I was spending more time worried about my competition than growing my own business. So, I researched better ways to curate my feed: 

1. Unfollow and block people

I know this sounds aggressive but it was necessary at the time. It may not have been a “them” problem — their content actually WAS that good. Rather, it was me realizing that to accomplish the dreams I had required drastic measures, and this was one of them. 

I FORCED myself to unfollow anyone that gave me that negative feeling.

It wasn’t a lot of work. I didn’t overthink it. I just went off feel. 

At first, it didn’t make a difference. But, after being thoughtful about it for a couple of months, I found myself being MUCH more productive online. Posting with a purpose and GHOSTING. Not doomscrolling or feeling bad. WIN. 

2. Build community

After I figured out who I didn’t want in my feeds, I realized the algorithms on ALL platforms WANT to serve you the RIGHT people. 

Think about it.  If your feed is filled with terrible things, it’s probably more a reflection of what you actually look at or engage with.

Did you know that just PAUSING on a post for 1.5 seconds counts as an impression?

When I realized this I did another quick Google search: “How to clean up your feed on ‘insert any social platform here’”

I’ll save you the research:

• Click “see less” 

• Click “X” to close the post

• Unfollow 

Every single platform has a simple way to tell it you don’t want that content in your feed. Ask yourself when you last took time to TELL the platforms what you WANT.

Same as unfollowing people, it didn’t take much effort. It was simple actions done consistently over time that allowed me to succeed here.

This was one of the BIGGEST unlocks. Slowly but surely so many people I wanted to communicate with were popping up in my feed.

So much of what I didn’t like about social media went away: The petty political arguments. The provocative. The violence. The fear.

Social media is not fake unless you assume so or engage with it in that way

What dominates the bulk of people’s feeds adds nothing good to your lives, I promise you that. 

What dominates my feed is a community of people who are driven and intelligent, with integrity. 

What dominates my feed are things that make me smarter.

What dominates my feed are people who are IN my community. 

Social media is meant to be social. It’s not fake unless you assume it is or engage with it in that way.

Social media is the cafeteria at your high school. You choose the table to sit down at, and guess what? You can stand up and change tables anytime. So, I did.

I doubled down on MY people. The ones who cheered for us and wanted us to win. I continued trying to provide valuable solutions to their problems regardless of the vanity metrics.

It took me a LONG time, but the platforms figured out who I was talking to, and the compound effect is undefeated. We’ve now reached over nine million people and climbed across multiple platforms, but that’s unimportant.

What’s important is that we continue to find the RIGHT people.

What’s important is slow growth over time will yield something sustainable and valuable. 

Stop worrying about followers. Stop worrying about likes. Stop worrying about views. 

Instead, focus on the human beings at the other end of the DM or phone call. They are REAL people. Stop treating your “community” like income lines on a spreadsheet. When you do that, everything will change.

Character Over Clicks: Why Integrity Beats Influence Every Time

You are not as bad as you tell yourself you are.

You are not as good as other people tell you you are. 

The truth is always somewhere in the middle. 

Let me share a secret from what I’ve learned seeing behind the curtain in the world of“influencers” vs actual successful people. 

The Key difference is that successful people don’t pay any attention to the wrong things people say about them, while at the same time not believing their own hype. 

The trait that makes them successful is the willingness to approach everything with a student mindset. 

However, influencers tend to look for the shortcut. They aspire to validation without a desire for the skill. They also tend to spend a lot of time politicking, using people for their gain, and burning bridges in their wake. 

Successful people build bridges and then come back to help guide others across, often to their short-term detriment but always leading to long-term success. 

We need to stop quantifying people’s value based on their vanity metrics. 

If you look at someone’s metrics before you look at their character, you need to reprogram your brain. 

There are people with millions of followers who bought them. 

People with hundreds of followers can send one text and change your life. 

People claim “authenticity” as just “keeping it real.” 

Is it aspirational to spew negativity and burn bridges cause that is just how you feel? Keep it 100 authentic.

How about aspiring to be a better human?

Character is who you are when no one is watching.

Character > Influence

Integrity> Authenticity  

New me Vs Old me

If you commit to being consistent, the old version of you will never be able to keep up, and the new version will be better than you ever thought possible.

"The Career you have chosen is fraught with opportunity, and laden with the bodies of those who have failed." -The Greatest Salesman in the World

I remember when Shannon and I started in this business.
First, we wanted to sell one property in one neighborhood
Then we wanted to sell many properties in many neighborhoods
Then we wanted to build something VERY different- a company that is known for actually SELLING real estate vs hiring agents.

Now we are a globally recognized name, building bigger bridges than we ever thought possible. 

The key wasn’t that we were inherently better than anybody else. It wasn’t that we inherited a database or business from somebody. It was, we were committed to excellence and consistency and trying to grow every single year. 

2023 is another year, where we look back, so proud of the people, the systems, and the processes that we have built without being attached to the outcome. 

What’s exciting is the version of PRIME you will see next year will be so much further ahead of what we think is possible today, because of the incredible people we have in the ecosystem and their commitment to consistent action over time.

It’s not easy, it’s not supposed to be. 

Slow is smooth smooth is fast. The key is consistent action.

Here’s a simple concept for you. When you get a new lead, the industry average for Initial contact attempts is 1.2. 
Statistically, the actual conversion happens at 6-12 attempts.

Keep it simple. 
Learn what to say.
Use the system.
Don't be attached to the results.
Review, and recalibrate.

You'll be shocked at what's possible. 

How has Failure shaped your life?

How has Failure shaped your life?

Ask yourself that question.

I’ve interviewed hundreds of people on the PRIME PEOPLE PODCAST and asked them this question. Without fail, every one of them lights up when I ask it. You can allow this question and the word failure to be heavy and negative or see it as the most incredible opportunity. 

I screwed up a lot.

I tried things that didn’t work.

I chased the wrong fit clients.

I remember getting the mandate to sell a large subdivision of homes early in my career—100+ homes in a multi-phase development. We noticed a significant culture shift within the organization. We came in, created a boatload of value and action, and things were looking great. We realized we were NOT in partnership and had a core conflict regarding our core values of putting people before profits and caring for the customers. Then, a site supervisor walked in and disrespected one of my female staff members and wanted to create an environment of scarcity around the sales site rather than collaboration. We quickly decided to leave the area- giving up the short-term battle for the long-term war. This objectively could have been perceived as a loss, but the clarity we got on whom we want to partner with and the LOYALTY we gained from our staff for standing up for them is not something we could BUY anywhere. 

“The righteous keep moving forward, and those with clean hands become stronger and stronger.” 

I could have done better at content. I got made fun of. I shot thousands of short-form videos, hundreds of property tours, and tons of content that didn’t work—no likes, no comments, not many followers. People close to me dropped comments like, “Do you think it’s too much? Are you some life coach? Do you even sell real estate?”

It would have been easier to listen. It would have been easier to fall in line with the opinions of people who weren’t doing the thing I wanted to do. If I had, I would have never built relationships with some of the most incredible people on the planet. I would have never made a global referral network that rivals some of the biggest brokerages on the planet. I would never have been able to refine my tactics and strategies and stay ahead of the competition. I would never have been able to discover the intersection of a thing I love and what I’m good at in Real Estate and Media. 

"Many of life's failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up." ― Thomas Edison.

I build out SOPs and training protocols that I’ve since scrapped and started over on.

I figured out the RIGHT fit clients by working with the wrong appropriate clients.

I found the right software and media gear by trying the ones that weren’t my speed.

I discovered the RIGHT SOPs and protocols by testing the wrong ones.

But at least I tried.

"I can accept failure. Everyone fails at something. But I can't accept not trying." ― Michael Jordan.

Every success in my life has been through growing through some of the most challenging adversity. 

Every growth stage has happened after my most significant perceived loss or challenge. 

It’s the Incredible Hulk effect.

The more they attack him, the bigger he gets. 

There is only success with resistance. 

The world lied to you when they told you that everything would happen for you once you found the algorithm hack, the exact script to say to a client, or hired that perfect employee. 

What they should have told you is if you find those things by doing the actions that lead you to them- not in some course sold by someone who doesn’t even do the thing themself is selling. 

Life is art and math. 

Be aware of the math.

Show up for the Art that only you can make. 

So let me ask you;

How has failure shaped your life?

Are you Scared of the "WHAT IFS"?

You will never be able to accomplish anything if you’re too afraid of the “what if.”

“The amateur believes he must first overcome his fear; then he can do his work. The professional knows that fear can never be overcome. He knows there is no such thing as a fearless warrior or a dread-free artist.”

― Steven Pressfield

• Fear of looking stupid

• Fear of what people will think about you

• Fear of letting people down

• Fear of letting yourself down. 

• It’s why you don’t shoot content. 

• It’s why you don’t pick up the phone and call people. 

• It’s why you don’t sit down to do the work.

• It’s why you procrastinate. 

Instead, what if you decided that the fear was something to embrace? What happens if you don’t feed the fear? It dies. 

The secret to success is not to wait until the fear is gone. Every successful person I know still has it. The difference is they break the pattern. They stop worrying about the what-ifs. They stop doomscrolling social feeds into envy and impostor syndrome. 

Think of this next time you feel fear. 

Instead of feeding it, shoot a piece of content, go for a walk, call a prospect, or pick up an instrument. Anything but feed the fear. 

“We can’t control the things that happen to us.

Only our reactions.

Things come and go

Emotions come and go

The important thing is to accept them all 

Embrace them all

Then you can choose to do with them what you want Versus being controlled by emotion

If you feed fear, it grows If you step back, it shrinks.”

-Kobe Bryant 

😩One day- Or day one?⏰

I’m going to eat better.

I’m going to wake up earlier.

I’m going to make time to do the thing I love.

I’m going to make the time to play with my kids.

I’m going to make time to connect with my wife. 

I’m going to build that business plan. I know I need to do

One day. 

Words matter. If you keep telling yourself one day, one day, you’ll look back and realize it’s too late. 

What if you told yourself instead that today is day one?

 Day one of doing the things that fill your cup. Day one of NOT doing the things that drain it?

Ultimately, you are the one responsible for the language you choose to accept. 

So tell me. 

Is tomorrow just going to be another “One Day”

Or will you make it Day One? 

🛠️Constructive or Corrosive☠️: The Dual Faces of Organizational Culture

“Encourage one another and build one another up, just as you are also doing.”

Think about your BIGGEST WIN
Now think about your BIGGEST LOSS

Often, we give credit to others when we win, then put so much pressure on ourselves when we lose.

I remember the first Commercial deal I ever had was a 15,000 sq foot office building with 55% vacancy. The seller wanted a million dollars, but the math showed buyers should be in the 550-650 range. The seller wouldn’t budge. Shannon, my partner and wife, having her M.B.A. from the Richard Ivey School of Business, went into spreadsheet mode and devised three strategies where we could list at 850 and use creative financing to get the seller there in 5 years with a VTB deal. We went to work.

A week later, we received a nasty email from another agent in our office berating our pricing and saying that we had no business listing this property because we were so new. What shocked me the most was he worked AT our office. This was when I realized the culture we were in was NOT collaborative- rather combative. Instead of focusing on the email(which we did like ordinary people for a bit, then detached)- we focused on the problem.

We found a buyer who LOVED our structure because they WERE the perfect buyer - it was just the capital allocation that wouldn’t make sense at a million- so we did a creative design that allowed them to put down WAY less of a downpayment, work on the building for five years get it to 95% occupancy and have a great asset. The seller got over a million, and everyone won- except that agent who wrote the nasty email.

His email led us to build PRIME. Looking back, we are eternally grateful- grateful he showed us who we DIDN’T want to become.  

We wanted to become The most trusted name in real estate.

We wanted to become more than a brokerage.

We wanted to become more than a team.

We wanted to create an environment for people to love what they do.

We wanted to be known for not playing favorites.

We wanted everyone to win.

We wanted to learn to turn every problem into an opportunity.

The culture we found and the people we work with are great examples of how this is possible.

We found loyal and great staff.

We found collaborative, creative, and driven agents.

We found clients that are loyal, hardworking, and excellent at what they do.

We also found ourselves driving away people who don’t align with our values, and that’s okay. There are places and cultures for everyone.

What you focus on expands.

I am grateful for the mentors, team members, staff, and those who show us daily what collaboration truly means.

What’s wild is the more you give, the more you get. Honestly, I don’t know where that agent is- I haven’t seen his name nor interacted with him, but rather than holding any resentment, I’m grateful for him, too.

What are you grateful for today?

I got fired🚫

A couple of years ago, I faced one of the most challenging moments in my real estate career. It was the sale of 100-acre off-grid property that took twists and turns before finally sealing the deal.

But why am I telling you this story? Because, within this tale, lie the three foundational pillars that have consistently driven my business forward: Learning, Prospecting, and Building that I’m hoping will help you level up.

**The Journey from getting 😡fired to Sold🚀**

Years ago I sold one of the most incredible properties you could imagine. The deal initially happened because I was in the right place at the right time with the right knowledge and the willingness to throw my entire schedule for a loop to get the RIGHT buyer to a specific property. We spent nine hours on this property and one of the worst snowstorms you can imagine. A deal for the ages that is a story for the other for another day.

I remember specifically telling this client that this property was so unique that if he ever had to resell it, I would likely need about four years given the average days on the market at the time, and the fact that I was talking to probably .5% of the marketplace.

Two years later he needed to sell.

I reminded him of the initial conversation but said I was willing to take on the challenge is selling unique properties is something that we happen to be very good at. We put together a marketing campaign like no other and actually yielded a buyer that was looking to do something very specific with the property. We spent months working with the local municipalities and Planning offices to push through on allowing a re-purposed means of the zoning and ended up getting stonewalled and went back to the drawing table. Unbeknownst to me, he had a very close friend that kept bugging him to get the listing should my listing agreement run out(which is actually called tortuous interference- a story for another day as well ;). At the end of that listing agreement, he told me that he felt he needed to give his friend a shot, and there was no bad blood as when I tell people that I am here to serve if my friendship and attitude are merely based around them hiring me, then would I really be their friend?

Suffice it to say he spent the next couple years cycling through different agents, and eventually came back to me, saying he had not experienced marketing like we did the first time around, nor results like we had with activity. When I got the mandate the second time, we blew the doors off the sale and leveled up our business in a very big way. The key to the story is during that time instead of licking my wounds, we used it as an opportunity to see what we could have done better to have maintained the mandate. Maybe there was nothing I could have done, but if I didn't take it as an opportunity to grow, I would never have been able to level up our business the way we did. Here are three massive takeaways from that.

1. **Learning:** Every day, I immerse myself in acquiring new knowledge. Be it marketing, cinematography, or any field that kindles my passion. The sale of this property was heavily influenced by my expertise in cinematography and storytelling which helps make our client properties stand out, a skill we are still developing.

2. **Prospecting:** It's a non-negotiable daily task for me. I reach out to leads, hot prospects, nurtures, and past clients. By keeping my pipeline active and engaging, I stay connected and relevant.

3. **Building (Working ON the Business):** After losing the initial listing, instead of sulking, I assessed what could be improved. I worked on enhancing the areas of my business that needed attention, ensuring I wouldn't make the same mistakes again. By continuously refining and adapting, I made sure my business model was robust and client-centric.

For all of us, whether in real estate or any other industry, the essence remains the same. It's crucial to:

- Continuously **learn** and adapt.

- Persistently **prospect** and expand your network.

- Constantly **build** and refine your business.

In our journey, it's easy to be overwhelmed by daily tasks, emails, and challenges. Yet, it's paramount to remember these three pillars.

If you’ve made it this far I know have a challenge for YOU

Think of a client that gave you a sense of joy through adversity similar i to the story I told. Comment, email me, or dm me and tell me the story. I bet we find in it what you learned, did to prospect and can build on to create a more resilient business.

Let’s GROW

Show me your Bank account/Calendar

If I could only look at your calendar and bank account, what picture would that paint of who you are?

And I don’t mean how much money you have or rating you based on who you meet.

Rather, we have ambitions, or images of who we are/want to be; and the question then lies- are you spending time and money in places that take you close or further from those goals?

A lot of real estate agents chase being a version of themselves that is not in alignment with what brings them joy.

At PRIME we’ve worked really hard to cultivate a unique environment that encourages people to integrate what makes them unique and brings joy into their work.

We also work really hard at honing our craft. We spend time sharpening our axe together so we can head out into the wilderness wherever our clients send us to harvest, knowing that when we are alone the work we did as a collective will determine our outcomes.

We also refine our WHY and WHO regularly as oftentimes ambitions shift.

If I asked you today:

Who are you?

What do you do?

Where do you do it?

Could you answer those questions?

Once you understand those three questions, then you can map out the actions required to become the best version of yourself. After that, it’s as simple as resource management. Where do you invest your time and money?

Often we can romanticize our actions, we are after all the hero of our own movie.

But the facts don’t lie. It’s not good or bad it just is.

If your ambitions don’t match your actions; change your actions or change your ambitions.

What are you good at and what do you LOVE to do?

Someone asked me recently:

"What are you good at and what do you LOVE to do?"

I'm good at Real Estate, Marketing, and Strategy

I LOVE to create content and storytelling

This has led me to be able to sell using storytelling, new media, and content creation and has attracted a clientele that appreciates Real Estate market intelligence, Marketing, and Strategy and understands the impact of new media and how it can bring in 5-10 X the amount of attention and reach to their properties and projects than your typical MLS listing.

It has repelled clients who only want the cheapest option, as there's a difference between what you pay and how much money you make, and I want to work with those that care more about the NET they make- as it allows me to over-invest in them.

That said, there are models to serve others, and I think that's great. The KEY here is to understand this:

YOU are uniquely you.

How often do people become stuck thinking they need to become someone else to find joy, success, and purpose in their work?

I would argue the most successful and happy people on the planet have found a way to take what they love and combine it with what they are good at to find true success.

I'm a creator, I love cinematography, content creation, and marketing. Hence why it feels effortless and I can maintain energy in it. Because it fills my cup.

Maybe you love to travel.

Maybe you love events.

Maybe you love the art of the deal.

Maybe you haven't found it yet, but that's ok as well.

This week, I challenge you to put aside some time to think about this.

What are you good at and what do you LOVE to do?

If you can figure out those two things, everything else in your business becomes easy.

TELL me in the comments what those are for YOU.

Why?

For two reasons:

1. It will help bring you clarity.

2. It allows me to find people who would be a fit for YOU. I know a few people, so the only thing you have to lose by not po🚀sting is opportunity.

Let's GROW🚀